The Obi-Wan Kenobi Game

‘There is no trying, there’s only do or do not’ Yoda

Quite harsh isn’t it? When most of us are gripped by procrastination and fear especially when it comes to getting our work out to a wider audience. I’ve always been very confident as an interviewer, presenter and journalist, but I have given myself a new challenge recently and written a novel, it’s completely different from any other written work I have ever done and I’m out of my comfort zone.

Until I was reminded of that timely quote, I realised I have been telling people for ages that I am ‘trying’ to find the time to complete the novel’ ‘trying to seek out an agent to represent me’. I was asking everyone I could think of what I should do, when and how. The truth is I have been procrastinating, playing for time, because of the fear of being judged, what if the novel is utter drivel? What if I can’t get a book deal? 

Of course I wouldn’t be the first, many successful authors have faced rejection before they found success but as I am always telling clients, Inertia won’t pull you to success…You don’t have to get it right, you DO have to get it going. The answer lies within you, that’s what we are always told, yet most of us doubt ourselves and look outside of ourselves for answers, advice, validation and assurance.

I’m not suggesting there is anything wrong with asking for help, seeking support and sharing with others, it’s critical in fact, but in recent years I’ve come to realise how important it is to trust your gut instinct, not just on the big things, but on the little things too and be willing to step out even if you feel a little afraid.

I love it when you read a book and a line pops out at you, it’s those lightbulb moments that make all the difference, recently I was reminded by Gabrielle Bernstein that ‘Energy flows where your attention goes’ and by Brendan Burchard that most of us are ‘driven by fear not freedom’. In ‘The Motivation Manifesto’ he talks about the ‘worriers’ – those members of your family, friends, teachers, peers, who mean well, they are thoughtful, loving and protective, but they are fearful and anxious so they don’t want us to tread anything other than the well-worn paths they have trodden.

Brendan says ‘We must protect ourselves from being limited by those who care for us, as much as by those who blatantly oppose us’. If you’re a parent you will know about the agonising fear when your toddler first scales the dizzy heights of the climbing frame, you want them to explore but one hand is ready to dial 999 or rush to casualty when they come a-toppling down, as a mum or dad I’m guessing you didn’t ever wave your child off saying…’Have a great day, take lots of risks!’.

On the Hay House writers workshop Julia Cameron gave the participants a fascinating exercise to do. She calls it the ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi’ or ‘Yoda’ exercise, (if you aren’t a Star Wars fan you can call it Glenda the Good Witch). You probably remember scenes in Star Wars with Obi-Wan and Anakin where he expresses dismay that his advice isn’t being heard…

Obi-Wan says to Anakin…’Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?’

He replies ‘Don’t say that, master. You’re the closest thing I have to a father’

Obi-Wan says ‘Then why don’t you listen to me?’

The idea of the exercise is to ask questions of your older wiser self, and then – here’s the important bit – actually listen. Write down what comes to mind and you could be amazed at the wisdom and how pertinent it is to what’s going on in your life.

Ask ‘Older wiser self…what do I need to know?
What do I need to do?
What do I need to try?
What do I need to grieve / let go of ?
What do I need to celebrate?

Only give yourself 20 to 30 seconds to answer each question, that way you don’t have time to push away the thoughts and continue with the inner critic, just write down the first answer that pops into your head, the chances are that your older wiser self will know exactly what’s needed and you will find the answer within you. Then you will know that it only takes a small amount of courage to get going on whatever it is that has been holding you back.

I’m contacting agents, I have my first meeting soon, watch this space….May the force be with you!

The Big Fat Lie About Time

I’m still banging on about the experience of working with Julia Cameron at The Hay House Writers workshop and I know she won’t mind if I share one of her ideas with you.

I’ve already written about how important daily writing is, Julia calls it writing morning pages and its imperative to get the creative juices flowing and writing uncensored, longhand for your eyes only.

SEE MY BLOG POST ABOUT IT HERE>>

But Julie dispelled another myth at the workshop and it was literally a light bulb moment for me.  I am so incredibly busy and trying to do an awful lot of things, present, look after kids, run a business and fit in the odd trip to the sea to restore my sense of well-being and charge my batteries, but I often come up against a sense of frustration that I don’t have enough time to write the way I want to. I get very little uninterrupted time, I’m lucky if I can complete a paragraph and then one of the kids needs my help with the homework. My husband who is also a writer gets even more frustrated and can go for months without writing because he just can’t focus and he’s determined he must take a vacation to be able to complete his work.

writing-sentences

I meet many clients who I encourage to blog, or write a book to promote their work, and get their message out to a wider audience and while they feel inspired the line I hear most often is…I don’t have time. Often they commit to writing their book but it’s …when the kids have gone to uni…when their current work project finishes…when they next go on a fortnights holiday…

Of course those ‘when’ days often don’t come… even if the day comes around when the kids have left for university, it’s common to find you are still busy and the minutia of life continues just with a different rhythm. There is still not the luxury of being able to take a week, or even maybe a weekend away to focus on writing, so the project remains unfinished, or in many cases not even started.

Julia believes that we do not need much time to write, it’s a myth.

She believes we don’t even need the plan, the important thing is to just write as it occurs. Of course you allow yourself to create rough drafts – and they are just that, rough drafts, for ‘listening’ to your ideas, not for editing, but – and here’s the big light-bulb moment… she suggests we become a ‘time grabber’.

If you have fifteen minutes on the bus and you think of one sentence, write that, if you are waiting for an appointment and a paragraph comes to mind write it down.

Always keep a notebook or a device to write with and remember that ‘Time can be grabbed’

It may be that you are busy, but you can ‘grab a sentence’.

Remember several sentences = a paragraph

Several paragraphs = a chapter

Several chapters = a book

Julia created her ‘morning pages’ tool when she met a guy she wanted to help ‘unblock’  (it worked – he went on to write hugely successful screenplays and movies) and she believes its okay to ‘set the bar low’. Grab your inspiration where it occurs, and if you just don’t feel like it, remember Julia’s other writing myth – mood is a luxury – if you have something to say as a writer, its non negotiable.

I’ve got exactly ten minutes before I need to pick the kids up, I’m going to ‘grab a sentence’.

Remember …You don’t have to get it right you do have to get it going…