WHAM! 10 Days in China Watching My Early Twenties Self Through a New Lens

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There’s something uniquely disorienting about seeing your younger self on screen – not in a home video, not in a grainy backstage snap, but in a major documentary that suddenly beams your early‑twenties face, voice, and energy back into your life decades later.

When I saw a private screening of WHAM! 10 Days in China, I expected nostalgia. I didn’t expect the emotional punch. I didn’t expect to feel protective of that girl – the one with the big hair, voice, the bigger dreams, and absolutely no safety net. And I certainly didn’t expect to be reminded so vividly of how fragile I was beneath the rock‑and‑roll gloss.

The documentary is extraordinary – not just for WHAM! fans, but as a piece of cultural history. The footage is electric: China in the mid‑80s, the crowds, the colour, the innocence of a world opening up to Western pop for the first time. The interviews are gold dust, with people whose lives were changed because of that concert, and many of the backstage shots capturing George and Andrew at their most charismatic and thoughtful.

And then there’s me – backing singer, tiny cog in a huge moment, suddenly preserved forever in this time capsule. Watching it now feels like reading a diary I didn’t know I’d written.

Seeing myself at that age was…surreal. She was bold, but brittle. Talented, but unsure. Living a dream, but without any grounding. No emotional scaffolding. No inner compass. Just instinct, adrenaline, and a willingness to leap.

I remember the highs – the travel, the music, the wildness, the sense of being part of something iconic.

I remember the lows too – the loneliness, the self‑doubt, the quiet moments where I didn’t know who I was when the lights went off.  I remember travelling first class back to London from New York, getting on the underground at Heathrow, schlepping it back to my flat in Elstree where there was no one home, and only some cold baked beans in the fridge

It was a life of contrasts for sure.

During the rock n roll years, I wasn’t a “druggy” -that wasn’t my scene – but alcohol was already becoming the thing I leaned on. The thing that smoothed the edges. The thing that made the chaos feel manageable. And yes, there was rock‑and‑roll. More than enough of it.

I wrote a lot about the years touring with WHAM! in my memoir From WHAM! to Woo, but I wish this film had been out first, I had only my memories to rely on, but this footage is incredible.

What Would I Tell Her Now?

This is the part that hit me hardest. Watching her, I wanted to step through the screen and say:

  • You don’t need to be so tough.
  • You don’t need to pretend you’re fine.
  • You’re allowed to ask for support.
  • You’re allowed to slow down.
  • You’re allowed to trust yourself – truly trust yourself.

And if I could change one thing?

I’d tell her to quit alcohol sooner. Not because she was out of control, she wasn’t – but because she deserved clarity. She deserved confidence that wasn’t borrowed. She deserved to feel whole without needing anything to prop her up.

The Full-Circle Moment

Watching the film now, as someone who’s lived a whole other life since – radio presenter, coach, mentor, creator of The Sober Club – I realise how much of my work today is shaped by that girl.

She didn’t have a safety net.

So now I help people build theirs.

She didn’t know how to regulate her nervous system.

So now I teach it.

She didn’t know how to trust her intuition.

So now I help others find theirs.

She didn’t know alcohol was dimming her light.

So now I help people reclaim theirs.

Watching WHAM! 10 Days in China reminded me that transformation isn’t a single moment – it’s a series of tiny decisions that eventually become a new life.

If you’re reading this and you’re curious about your own next chapter – whether it’s exploring sobriety, deepening your coaching skills, or simply wanting to feel more grounded and confident – that’s exactly why I created:

  • The Sober Club – community, connection, inspiration
  • Sober Coach Training – for those who want to help others while transforming themselves

Both exist because of that young woman in the documentary.

Both exist because she didn’t have what she needed.

And both exist so that you do.

If You’ve Watched the Film…

I’d genuinely love to know what stood out to you  the music, (WHAM! were a fantastic band!!) the cultural moment, the behind‑the‑scenes energy, or maybe even spotting me in my early‑twenties whirlwind, daft clothes and several different oversized 1980’s hair-do’s!

Check out @wham.toursingers on insta, and on my Youtube, myself and fellow backing singer Janet Mooney share some of our memories.